considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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