Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
