I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
