I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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