3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
