Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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