Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
