your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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