So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
