I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
