Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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