And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
