Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
