He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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