you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
