So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
