So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
