yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
