This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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