I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
