All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize