I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize