btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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