Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
