Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
