This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
