yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
