fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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