great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
