you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
