If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
