I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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