With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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