David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
