I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
