You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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