I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
