Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
