ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
it hurts more in the daytime
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
