lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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