theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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