yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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