And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
