Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
