remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize