whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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