I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Drunk is not a location!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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