when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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