Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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