dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I am naked and annoyed.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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