Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
