I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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