just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
