I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Randomize
