hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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