Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
