you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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