he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
