drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
